presents

Parent:by design

A program That will

transform your parentinG

from the inside-out

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk. 

― Carl Jung

This is not your typical parenting program.

There are no strategies for you to learn or techniques to master.

No scripts to memorise, no practical tools, no 'science-backed' tips.

I have nothing against these, I sometimes use them myself, but the reason why

  • you aren't being the parent you know you can be 
  • your child isn't behaving in the way you want
  • you don't have the relationship with your child that you'd like

has got absolutely nothing to do with your parenting technique.

looking in the wrong place

A new strategy or technique does seem like the answer.

When our behaviour, or our child's behaviour doesn't produce the results we want, we look for ways to change it.

But behaviour is a symptom, the outward manifestation of what is happening on the inside.

If you want behaviour to change you have to address what's causing it.

All behaviour has its roots in: 

  • your IDENTITY: who you think you are, how you see yourself
  • your VALUES: what's important to you and why
  • your BELIEFS: what you think you are capable of and how you think the world works 

I call this your STORY.

Dominic Chapman

COACH


Welcome Friend!

I love showing people how they can get the results that they want by changing how they see themselves and how they show up in the world.

If you want to change something or someone in the world outside, you must first change your world on the inside.

your story

Whatever it is that you are telling yourself about who you are, your parenting ability, your kids and your relationship with them, is just a story.

It's a story that you have come to accept as true, even though it does not represent actual Truth.

When you look in the mirror, you don't see YOU, you only ever see the past, a series of conditioned thought patterns you have come to accept as Truth.

It's difficult to show up differently in the world when we are holding on to the same old ideas about ourselves, this is why a 'new strategy' is not really effective, nothing new can happen if it's the same old you pulling the strings.

your story about your child

Just as we never really see our True selves, we only ever see a past version of our kids too.

We see them through a filter of limitation: our perception about who they are and what they are capable of.

We create a story and meaning around their actions, and when we attach ourselves to certain outcomes, when they fall short, we create suffering.

Their actions take on a whole grand meaning or significance.  

Kids are often our best teachers, they know which buttons to press; a problem is not a sign that something needs to be fixed, but that it is a call to go deeper.

At the first sign of trouble, most parents begin by looking for a way out. 

The truth is, we need a way in.

We see them through the lens of deficiency, of what they are not instead of what they are.

Through this lens everything is magnified, things take on a life of their own. 

Issues become 'character problems'.

We create a story around what things might mean, them not tidying their room becomes a 'respect issue'. A lack of interest at school or a poor grade becomes a motivational issue.. how will they ever be successful if they don't get A's.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change and through this new lens, you help your child to become the full expression of themselves too.

Which is how you build a great, lasting and meaningful relationship with them. 

"In life, people don't get what they want, they get who they are."

Here's an example

ATE of BEING, it's the story you tell yourself about WHO you are.

And, it's through the expression of this that you create your reality.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer said: 

Like life, parenting is less about what you are doing, and more about who you are being.

you are the creator

Your life isn't happening to you it unfolds from you, you create it in the moment.

You create it by who you are BEING right now.

And that state is influenced by your story.

You create it in 2 ways: your story (which is essentially your past) and your State of Being aka the way you are being in the moment.

You create it primarily through who you are BEING, from your story.

It is from this state of BEING that your thoughts, emotions, words and actions flow.  

It's these where your BEING meets the physical world, it's how your reality is created.

Which means that your family, your kids, your relationship with them, you create them too.

So if you want to create something different, as Anthony de Mello said: 

"Don't ask the world to change... you change first and when you change it will change."

creating what you want

This then is the key... for you to be the fullest expression of you.

If you are being bogged down by your story, you can't possibly be that full expression.

You are bringing less of you to the party.

Your results will be less than they could be.

It is your state of Being that creates your experience of life and the results you get. 

It is the key to you being the person and the parent that you want to be. 

It is the key to you creating the life that you want,

When your child sees you as fully alive, you inspire them and give permission for them to do the same, there is no substitute for your total presence and full expression. 

And from this state of BEING, a new way of parenting emerges; your way.

In our work together I will help you to embody this, because this is where your true power lies.

It's in the present moment that your power of creation resides.

This program is not only about seeing your world differently but inhabiting it differently.

It’s not just powerful shifts in mindset, but in embodiment and energy.

Creating this state of being is a 3-step process.

It's not about paying lip service to these ideals, it's living them day in, day out. LIVING practice.

Your struggle is a sign for you to go inside, to find the answers deeper within.

Actions that are an expression of your deepest purpose will always take you in the right direction.

What is in your highest good can’t possibly be anything less than the highest good for those around you. 

The best technique in the world is only ever as good as the person using it,

1. who you want to be for your child

The first step in creating a new way of being is to take a look at your values- the hidden drivers of your behaviour.

Getting clear on what's important to you and why it's important allows you to be a stand for them. Through living practice you embody these.

You create everything but you have no control over it.

The only thing you have control over in the moment is your state of being.


Einstein said that you can't solve a problem with the same level of thinking that created it. This is why trying to change behaviour using the carrot and stick approach rarely works, it doesn't address the cause of the behaviour in the first place.

approach by influencing behaviour is never going to work. 

Why  or willpower doesn't work.

2. your 'story' 


3. who your child needs you to be

parenting by design- the program

Through a process of self-exploration and reflection, you will discover how you can begin to parent from the inside-out.

You will learn how to create and embody a new state of being.

And through living practice your actions will flow naturally, as an expression of your true self.

IF we actually engage it until its a part of us 24/7, it is exactly the core practice that opens all subsequent doorways into a 'greater depth, higher illumination, and wider embrace'.

Woo instead of preach, preaching never works, that's the only way to change behaviour.

Nobody is threatened by doom or consequence. 

This will help to reveal the thought process that has created the problem (and it is always a thought problem... it just looks like a life/ character problem- (when we think it's a character problem (misdiagnose) we treat it as one which often does more harm than good- we essentially tell our kids that they aren't good enough and/or they feel that we don't love them).

We tend to focus our energy on what's already created, instead of focusing on CREATING.
But in reality all problems are created by our thinking.  

Our problems look and feel real, but they are only ever coming to you via thought.

It's who you are for your child that makes the difference.

If you would like to learn how to BE:

  • a stand for your highest values
  • the parent you always wanted to be for your kids
  • the parent your kids need you to be for THEM

but what if my child really is causing me problems?

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Example?

and through this new lens, you help your child to become the full expression of themselves too.

Which is how you build a great, lasting and meaningful relationship with them. 

going inside is where your true power lies

YOU are the CREATOR of your life. 

Which means that how you parent, how your family works, your relationship with your kids you are creating!

the challenges we have with them are not problems that we need to solve, instead they 

  • the type parent you want to be for your kids
  • the sort of relationship you want to have with them 
  • how can you help them to develop genuine self-belief, confidence and resilience


the program- a quick overview

The program is delivered online through 4 x 90 minute live workshops, with full support via a private Facebook group.

Each Sunday there will be a workshop where I will guide you through the program.

The program is split into 2 parts:

  1. a focus on you
  2. a focus on your child(ren)

your way- a 3 step process


Next we will look at how you are creating the situation you are in. I call this your story.

This might sound strange, particularly if you feel that your child is the source of your problem(s), but the reality is, you are creating the problem, not them.

Through your state of BEING, your thinking and your actions, you are the creator of what is, and once you see the truth of this, you can begin to create the reality you want instead. In fact, until you fully own how you created your current circumstances, you can't access your full power to create a new one.

Finally, we'll look at how you can create the reality you want instead, how you can show up each day and be the parent you know you can be.

your child

Next we'll take a close look at your child.

How you are creating them.

What they actually need from you and how this forms the foundation of a closer relationship between you.

How this creates confidence, self-belief and resilience.

You might have a problem with your teen's emotional outbursts and their XXX behaviour.

Every interaction you have with them is viewed through that lens.

You focus on the behaviour, try to change it with threats or bribes, and then get frustrated when they don't work. 

You then begin to worry what this means for your child, that they might not succeed in life and that somehow you have failed them.

, or they might 

 will explore: Whether you are pulling your hair out in frustration, or you want to be more consistent. 

I will show you how you can create the parent that you know you can be, whilst having a great relationship with your child. This is not a turn up and watch, your commitment is to do the work required.

an example

You might have a problem with your teen's emotional outbursts and their XXX behaviour.

Every interaction you have with them is viewed through that lens.

You focus on the behaviour, try to change it with threats or bribes, and then get frustrated when they don't work. 

You then begin to worry what this means for your child, that they might not succeed in life and that somehow you have failed them.

, or they might 

 will explore: Whether you are pulling your hair out in frustration, or you want to be more consistent. 

I will show you how you can create the parent that you know you can be, whilst having a great relationship with your child. This is not a turn up and watch, your commitment is to do the work required.

  • 4 x 90 minute workshops over 4 weeks
  • 4 x 90 minute workshops over 4 weeks
  • full support and coaching via a private Facebook group
  • a workbook for you to fill in and keep as a record
  • live Q&A each week
  • discounted 1-2-1 coaching

your story


misunderstanding

We all do this, live our story as if it's true.

We believe that the events in our life cause us to feel what we feel, to think what we think and to behave the way we do.

And this outside-in narrative becomes the story of our life.

But this is a complete 180 degree misunderstanding about how our experience of life works.

We think that our problems lie outside of us, and if we can solve them or make them go away, then we will feel better.

But... your child isn't the problem, their behaviour isn't the problem, your ability isn't the problem, it's your thinking about these things that's the problem. 

You no doubt worry that, you might be at your wits end, you probably feel guilty that you are somehow failing your child.

the truth

As uncomfortable as this might be to hear, the reality is, the situation you find yourself in right now, you created it: ALL of it. 

But it's not the circumstances that need to change, it's how you use your thinking that needs to change.

And that's the best bit, accepting the truth of this means that you have the power to change: to create a different story instead.  In the 4 weeks we spend together I will challenge you and your thinking, at times this may not be comfortable, but without challenge nothing will change. I'm here to agitate and to act as a catalyst for you to become a more deliberate and purposeful parent.

unlike any other parenting course

The moment that you stop looking outside of yourself for something that you already have is the moment that everything changes.

Over 30 days together, we'll explore a whole new way of thinking about what it means for YOU to be a parent:

  • there's no need to learn 'new strategies' because you already have within you the strengths and innate wisdom you need to be a great parent- you just need to know how to uncover them. 
  • instead of thinking that you are lacking in some way, we'll help you to connect with your true self and parent from the peace, love and joy of that space.
  • instead of reacting to the circumstances you find yourself in, we will help you to CREATE the ones that you want.
  • instead of looking at what's wrong and how you can fix it, we'll help you to see what is already great and show you how to build from that.
  • instead of learning techniques to 'manipulate' your child's behaviour, you'll understand what they actually need so you can better support them better and they'll 'act out' less.

will you be a perfect parent afterwards?

Nope... and some days are still gonna suck.

But the difference this time is that you'll know what to do to rediscover your best self and get back on track for a much better day tomorrow.

I can't promise perfection but, I can promise you that you will:

  • enjoy a much happier relationship with your kids
  • no longer get bogged down in battles and power struggles
  • learn how be more in control of your emotions
  • help your child to manage their emotions better too
  • be a more positive, understanding, supportive and loving parent
  • live in a better parenting story

how the program works

The program is delivered online through a series of 4 x 90 minute workshops, with full support via a private Facebook group.

Each Sunday there will be a live workshop where I will guide you through the program.

You will check in each day to complete a lesson, challenge, or activity (in 30 minutes or less).

A daily commitment to yourself that helps you to build and maintain a new habit of YOU: small actions taken consistently each day lead to big changes and big results.

about me

Hi there, I'm Dominic Chapman and I will be your guide on this journey, this is me with my donuts below. 

I am a Coach who helps people to create the life they want by helping them to see how they create the life they have already, and then helping them to write a better story.

the power of the group

You won't be doing this alone either, you will be in a small group of other parents (max 15), all on the same journey.

A small group like this is the best way for me to support you through the changes you want to make.

You can participate in the workshops as much or as little as you like, some people like to get involved and to share, others don't; I will respect your approach completely.

Also 16 heads (mine as well) are better than 1, it's a great way to generate ideas.

I've found that being part of a supportive group helps with motivation and accountability, plus it's lovely to feel part of something and to know that others care.

overview

Each workshop and Facebook group  is directly facilitated by me, I am on hand each and every day to support and coach you through the changes you wish to make, as well as answer any questions you might have.

  • Week 1: you will focus on getting you and your thinking right 
  • Week 2: you will focus on understanding your child and what they need from you
  • Week 3: is about creating the relationship you want between you both 
  • Week 4: is about how you will create your new story moving forward

ready to join in?

The program costs just £97.

The next program starts on Thursday the 4th of February 2021 at 20:00 am UK time.

Check the time in your part of the world here.

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money back

100%

30 day guarantee

100% Money Back Guarantee

Purchase With Confidence...100% Risk Free!

If for any reason, you don't feel that the program is for you, let us know anytime during the program and we'll refund you- no questions asked.