Parent by Design - lifehacksforkids

presents

Parent:by design

A program To

transform your parentinG

from the inside-out

Children are educated by what the grown-up is and not by his talk. 

― Carl Jung

This is not a typical parenting program.

There are no strategies to learn or techniques to master.

No need to memorise scripts, no practical tools, no 'science-backed' tips.

I've got nothing against these, they can be useful, but the reason why you are not the parent you could be (nor the one your child needs you to be) has got nothing to do with your (lack of) parenting technique.

looking for answers in the wrong place 

We think we need strategies, tools and techniques because it looks like the problems we have lie outside of us.

We say to ourselves, 'that person needs to change' or 'things will be better when that situation changes', but as Jesuit priest and psychotherapist Anthony de Mello said: 

"Don't ask the world to change... you change first and when you change it will change."

The answer therefore does not exist out there, it can't be found in a technique or strategy, it can only be found inside of us.

Like life, parenting is an inside job.

you are the creator of your life

The reason we think that the answer lies outside of us is because of a fundamental misunderstanding we have about the way life works.

We think that life happens to us, that our circumstances create our reality, and that we are just reacting to the events that happen out there.

But our life experience doesn't happen to us, it comes from us, we create it.

Understanding and embodying this premise is where your true power lies.

inside-out vs. outside-in

Because we are so used to thinking that life is something that happens to us, we have become trapped into thinking that 'doing' is the only answer.

So trapped that it's very hard to imagine that there might be another way. 

Everything in your life right now has come from you, you created it.

The doing part of you- your words and actions are the endpoint, where you meet the world... but what causes you to act the way you do, to say the things you say?

Your actions flow from WHO you are being.

in life people don't get what they want, they get what they are

It is your state of Being that creates your experience of life and the results you are getting.

Therefore, parenting is not about what you are doing, it's about who you are BEING.

Kids rarely listen to their parents, they imitate instead, which is why there is no substitute for your total presence and full expression. 

When your child sees you as fully alive, you inspire and give permission for them to do the same. 

And from this state of BEING, a new way of parenting emerges; your way.

It's how you show up in the world that counts.

parenting by design

Through this program I will guide you through a process of self-exploration and reflection, you will discover what works for you when you begin to parent from the inside-out. 

You will learn how to BE:

  • a stand for your highest values
  • the parent you always wanted to be for your kids
  • the parent your kids need you to be for THEM

And through the embodiment of this new state of BEING your actions will flow naturally, as an expression of your true self.

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change and through this new lens, you help your child to become the full expression of themselves too.

Which is how you build a great, lasting and meaningful relationship with them. 

Living Practice.For example, in Way of Mastery, Jeshua offers us the first touchstone of living practice. It is exquisite, for IF we actually engage it until its a part of us 24/7, it is exactly the core practice that opens all subsequent doorways into a 'greater depth, higher illumination, and wider embrace', and here it is:


Woo instead of preach, preaching never works, that's the only way to change behaviour.

Nobody is threatened by doom or consequence.

The reality we find ourselves in right now... WE CREATED IT. ALL OF IT.

We tend to focus our energy on what's already created, instead of focusing on CREATING.

We think about not having any clients, instead of going out there and creating them.


But in reality all problems are created by our thinking.  

Our problems look and feel real, but they are only ever coming to you via thought.

The result of all this doing—and avoiding—is a constant state of anxiety.

our focus goes outside ourselves to activities, other people, or swirling in our own thoughts. We just don't feel okay.

This is what creates resistance and tension, and then we wonder why we’re not happy. maybe you run to the next method, the next spiritual teacher, or the next book or video. This momentum of seeking takes you farther away from yourself and keeps you from discovering what you’re actually looking for—the infinite aliveness of this now moment.

So if you’re not running from or avoiding your present moment experience, what’s the alternative? Staying.

You feel the urge to move into action, and you open to the urge itself, feeling it in your body.

but what if my child really is causing me problems?

When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.

Example?

 and through this new lens, you help your child to become the full expression of themselves too.

Which is how you build a great, lasting and meaningful relationship with them. 

going inside is where your true power lies

YOU are the CREATOR of your life. 


This is a quote from the late Dr. Wayne Dyer, and it's taken me a long time to really understand what he meant by it.

Which means that how you parent, how your family works, your relationship with your kids you are creating!

Kids are often our best teachers, they know which buttons to press; a problem is not a sign that something needs to be fixed, but that it is a call to go deeper.


Instead of looking outside of you for the answer, maybe the situation needs to change, or they do, at the first sign of trouble, most parents begin by looking for a way out. 

The truth is, we need a way in.

In this program I can help you find your way.

I will show you how to BE a stand for

- your values, which will help you be more consistent, know which battles to fight.

- the parent you want to BE for your kids, so you feel good 

- the parent they need you to be for THEM, so they mature into happy, confident and resilient kids

- when you take care of the above, your relationship with them will improve beyond recognition


How deliberately growing and creating your being can help you to become a better parent.

Have the courage to live your truth.

The challenges you are having are showing up elsewhere, because they are coming from your state of being.



This is not a normal parenting program.

There are no 'science-backed' strategies to learn or techniques to master.

No need to memorise scripts that magically transform your child into an angel.

There aren't any tools to help you navigate conflict or to reconnect with your child.

You won't learn tips on how to set limits, be less stressed or identify and heal your triggers.

I've got nothing against these 'traditional solutions', some of them can be very useful, 

the challenges we have with them are not problems that we need to solve, instead they 


It's this premise that we will explore during this program. 


If you find yourself struggling with any aspect of being a parent, then this is the program for you. 

I say this with certainty because although it looks like the problem you have exists out there the answer in fact, lies within.

Your family, your relationship with your kids comes from you, not to you- you create it.

Like life, parenting is an inside job and when you change it will change.

As such, this program has no strategies to learn or techniques to master, instead there is a deep exploration into:

  • the type parent you want to be for your kids
  • the sort of relationship you want to have with them 
  • how can you help them to develop genuine self-belief, confidence and resilience

I am not here to show you my way, I am here to help you discover yours.

the program- a quick overview

The program is delivered online through 4 x 90 minute live workshops, with full support via a private Facebook group.

Each Sunday there will be a workshop where I will guide you through the program.

The program is split into 2 parts:

  1. a focus on you
  2. a focus on your child(ren)

your way- a 3 step process

We will start by exploring what it means to you to be a parent, we will look at your values: the hidden beliefs you have that drive your behaviour. Articulating these and getting clear on them is an extremely powerful first step.

Next we will look at how you are creating the situation you are in. I call this your story.

This might sound strange, particularly if you feel that your child is the source of your problem(s), but the reality is, you are creating the problem, not them.

Through your state of BEING, your thinking and your actions, you are the creator of what is, and once you see the truth of this, you can begin to create the reality you want instead. In fact, until you fully own how you created your current circumstances, you can't access your full power to create a new one.

Finally, we'll look at how you can create the reality you want instead, how you can show up each day and be the parent you know you can be.

your child

Next we'll take a close look at your child.

How you are creating them.

What they actually need from you and how this forms the foundation of a closer relationship between you.

How this creates confidence, self-belief and resilience.

You might have a problem with your teen's emotional outbursts and their XXX behaviour.

Every interaction you have with them is viewed through that lens.

You focus on the behaviour, try to change it with threats or bribes, and then get frustrated when they don't work. 

You then begin to worry what this means for your child, that they might not succeed in life and that somehow you have failed them.

, or they might 

 will explore: Whether you are pulling your hair out in frustration, or you want to be more consistent. 

I will show you how you can create the parent that you know you can be, whilst having a great relationship with your child. This is not a turn up and watch, your commitment is to do the work required.

an example

You might have a problem with your teen's emotional outbursts and their XXX behaviour.

Every interaction you have with them is viewed through that lens.

You focus on the behaviour, try to change it with threats or bribes, and then get frustrated when they don't work. 

You then begin to worry what this means for your child, that they might not succeed in life and that somehow you have failed them.

, or they might 

 will explore: Whether you are pulling your hair out in frustration, or you want to be more consistent. 

I will show you how you can create the parent that you know you can be, whilst having a great relationship with your child. This is not a turn up and watch, your commitment is to do the work required.

  • 4 x 90 minute workshops over 4 weeks
  • 4 x 90 minute workshops over 4 weeks
  • full support and coaching via a private Facebook group
  • a workbook for you to fill in and keep as a record
  • live Q&A each week
  • discounted 1-2-1 coaching

your story

Whatever it is that you are telling yourself about who you are, your parenting ability, your kids and your relationship with them, is just a story.

It's a story that you have come to accept as true, even though it does not represent actual truth.

As Anthony de Mello put it, 'You see persons and things not as they are but as you are.' 

So, the first part of the program is about understanding your story and then helping you to write a different one.

 a series of thoughts and beliefs that you have given life to with your focus and attention.

The problem is, you are living your story as if it's true!

misunderstanding

We all do this, live our story as if it's true.

We believe that the events in our life cause us to feel what we feel, to think what we think and to behave the way we do.

And this outside-in narrative becomes the story of our life.

But this is a complete 180 degree misunderstanding about how our experience of life works.

We think that our problems lie outside of us, and if we can solve them or make them go away, then we will feel better.

But... your child isn't the problem, their behaviour isn't the problem, your ability isn't the problem, it's your thinking about these things that's the problem. 

You no doubt worry that, you might be at your wits end, you probably feel guilty that you are somehow failing your child.

the truth

As uncomfortable as this might be to hear, the reality is, the situation you find yourself in right now, you created it: ALL of it. 

But it's not the circumstances that need to change, it's how you use your thinking that needs to change.

And that's the best bit, accepting the truth of this means that you have the power to change: to create a different story instead.  In the 4 weeks we spend together I will challenge you and your thinking, at times this may not be comfortable, but without challenge nothing will change. I'm here to agitate and to act as a catalyst for you to become a more deliberate and purposeful parent.

unlike any other parenting course

The moment that you stop looking outside of yourself for something that you already have is the moment that everything changes.

Over 30 days together, we'll explore a whole new way of thinking about what it means for YOU to be a parent:

  • there's no need to learn 'new strategies' because you already have within you the strengths and innate wisdom you need to be a great parent- you just need to know how to uncover them. 
  • instead of thinking that you are lacking in some way, we'll help you to connect with your true self and parent from the peace, love and joy of that space.
  • instead of reacting to the circumstances you find yourself in, we will help you to CREATE the ones that you want.
  • instead of looking at what's wrong and how you can fix it, we'll help you to see what is already great and show you how to build from that.
  • instead of learning techniques to 'manipulate' your child's behaviour, you'll understand what they actually need so you can better support them better and they'll 'act out' less.

will you be a perfect parent afterwards?

Nope... and some days are still gonna suck.

But the difference this time is that you'll know what to do to rediscover your best self and get back on track for a much better day tomorrow.

I can't promise perfection but, I can promise you that you will:

  • enjoy a much happier relationship with your kids
  • no longer get bogged down in battles and power struggles
  • learn how be more in control of your emotions
  • help your child to manage their emotions better too
  • be a more positive, understanding, supportive and loving parent
  • live in a better parenting story

how the program works

The program is delivered online through a series of 4 x 90 minute workshops, with full support via a private Facebook group.

Each Sunday there will be a live workshop where I will guide you through the program.

You will check in each day to complete a lesson, challenge, or activity (in 30 minutes or less).

A daily commitment to yourself that helps you to build and maintain a new habit of YOU: small actions taken consistently each day lead to big changes and big results.

about me

Hi there, I'm Dominic Chapman and I will be your guide on this journey, this is me with my donuts below. 

I am a Coach who helps people to create the life they want by helping them to see how they create the life they have already, and then helping them to write a better story.

the power of the group

You won't be doing this alone either, you will be in a small group of other parents (max 15), all on the same 30-day journey.

A small group like this is the best way for me to support you through the changes you want to make.

You can participate in the workshops as much or as little as you like, some people like to get involved and to share, others don't; I will respect your approach completely.

Also 16 heads (mine as well) are better than 1, it's a great way to generate ideas.

I've found that being part of a supportive group helps with motivation and accountability, plus it's lovely to feel part of something and to know that others care.

overview

Each workshop and Facebook group  is directly facilitated by me, I am on hand each and every day to support and coach you through the changes you wish to make, as well as answer any questions you might have.

  • Week 1: you will focus on getting you and your thinking right 
  • Week 2: you will focus on understanding your child and what they need from you
  • Week 3: is about creating the relationship you want between you both 
  • Week 4: is about how you will create your new story moving forward

ready to join in?

The program costs just £97.

The next program starts on Sunday the 3rd of January 2021 at 10:30 am UK time.

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money back

100%

30 day guarantee

100% Money Back Guarantee

Purchase With Confidence...100% Risk Free!

If for any reason, you don't feel that the program is for you, let us know anytime during the program and we'll refund you- no questions asked.