lesson 1: focus on what I can control

who is driving your bus?

A bit of a strange question right, but the point is to make you stop and reflect for a second.


Have you ever thought about just who is in control of YOU?
See if you can drag and drop the words and phrases into the correct camp- can you control them or not?

the keys

There are 2 keys to becoming good at SELF-REGULATION:
  1. 1
    understanding that are some things that you can control in your life and some things that you can't control
  2. 2
    making sure that you focus your attention and effort only on the things that YOU can control
YOU are in control of YOU, and that's ALL that you are in CONTROL of.
You can't control anybody or anything else.
Accepting the reality of this NOW, will be of tremendous help in your life.

you choose

It's like being in control of a character in a computer game, you press the buttons, you decide what they do.
You don't control other characters, the things that happen, or the environment you are in, you only control the character you are playing: YOU.
It's exactly the same in real life, but the controller isn't in your hand, it's in your head: and the buttons you press are the decisions that you make. 
Just as in the computer game, you have the power to decide what you THINK, DO, or SAY, next...

some examples

Here are 3 different hypothetical scenarios below with 3 different answers.
Click on each one to see the potential repercussions of each choice.

You failed a maths exam... choose what to THINK:

I am such a stupid idiot!

Hmmm. You will probably fail the resit and quite a few exams with this kind of thinking.

How can I make sure I pass next time?

This is the kind of thinking that will give you the best chance of success. You are looking for solutions and being positive.

I'm just not a maths person.

With this kind of thinking you will almost certainly fail the resit- you might not even bother revising very hard if at all.

Your best friend is not speaking to you... choose what to DO:

Never speak to anyone else again.

You will probably have to become a Monk and live in the mountains somewhere!

Ask them why.

There is a good chance that you can resolve the issue and become friends again.

Ignore them and make some new friends.

School might be a bit awkward... at least for a while!

You friend cheats on a test... choose what to SAY:

Tell the teacher.

You might well lose your friend, they will certainly be in trouble.

Say nothing.

You feel bad because it's not fair on everyone who studied hard if your friend gets a good mark.

Say you will tell the teacher next time.

This might be an awkward situation, but your friend knows where you stand.

it's your choice

As you can see from these hypothetical examples.
It's always your choice what to:

THINK / DO / SAY next.

And what you decide has a huge impact on the outcomes you get. 
Which is why we are going to focus on your decisions in the next lesson.

lesson complete

As and when you are ready for your next lesson.
Click the button below.
Or you can go back to the SELF-REGULATION homepage here.