Parent by Design

How to succeed at the most important job you will ever have.

Welcome to Parent by Design

Hi there, I'm Dominic, and I am a Dad to 14-year-old twins. 

I am also a Parenting Coach, and I have created the Parent by Design program to help you to:

  1. 1
    Help your child to develop the resilience, confidence and self-belief they need to thrive in our modern world.
  2. 2
    Know exactly what it takes to be the best parent you can be and the parent your kids need you to be. 
  3. 3
    Have a great relationship with your kids, one that's open, trusting, supportive, and loving.

To transform yourself from a good parent into a great one, you need a few things:

not sure where to start?

what my clients say

Earth Shattering!

This should be taught to everybody for living their life, not just for their parenting.

Claudia

I highly recommend this life-changing course.

Be prepared.


Jenny

Your teachings seem to unlock something within. It has transformed my relationships with my children and my family in a positive way.

JD

Thank you for putting time into a life you have never met! This really is a gift that I will carry with me forever.

Edna

Why I waited 13 years to do this I have no idea, but I'm extremely glad that I did. This decision has had a profound effect on me and my family. So much that I decided to share what I did (and still do) by creating this program.

Parent by Design is not a typical parenting program. In fact, it's not really a parenting program at all. It's a way of seeing your world differently and inhabiting it differently, with an emphasis and focus on parenting. Parenting isn't something you 'do' in isolation. It's an extension of who you are.

Before you continue reading, I'd like to invite you to experience this life-changing program for yourself. Take the 1st workshop for free and see how Parent by Design will work for you. Seize the moment, change happens when you commit and when you act!

You will be taken to my online diary, please choose a time that works for you.

I like to do the first workshop in person. It's an opportunity to connect and for you to experience first-hand how I can support you on your parenting journey. Even if you decide not to buy the program, you will learn two powerful tools which will help you resolve any parenting problem or life challenge you have. There will be no pressure, no hard sell, just a chance for you to see what being a Parent by Design could mean for you, your life and your family.

With love, Dominic.

the program

parent by design

the 2 worlds of parenting

Every action you take (parenting or otherwise) has two distinct elements.
There's the action itself: your behaviour. This is the thing you see. It's what produces the results you get. I call this your outer world.
But what determines the quality of the action, and ultimately your results?
Well, that's on you. Specifically, it's your:

  • Identity: who you think you are.
  • Values: what is important to you.
  • Beliefs: what you think you are capable of.
  • Worldview: how you think the world works.

Together these factors determine the actions you take. I call them your inner world.

your inner world creates your outer world

When we aren't happy with our results, we instinctively look for a solution by changing our behaviour. But, solutions that have no understanding of what caused the behaviour are not real solutions. They are just temporary fixes.

A different behaviour (outer world) is only as good as the person pulling the strings (inner world). And if that's the same old you, with the same old thought patterns and the same old way of showing up in the world, you are never going to produce the results you want.

Working on your outer world will help you become a very good parent. But working on your inner world will transform you into a great one. And that's what makes this program different; I help you develop both. First, let's see how this program will help you transform your outer world. 

your outer world

There's a huge difference between parenting by default and parenting by design. To illustrate this and with your permission, I'd like to ask you the same 3 questions I asked myself that day 18 months ago.

the first question

Sending your kids out into the big wide world armed only with good grades no longer gives them a competitive advantage. The kids who will be economically relevant and future-proofed will be the ones with the qualities that are essential to success and happiness in our modern world:

  • psychological strength and flexibility
  • emotional intelligence, empathy and compassion
  • self-belief and the confidence to express themselves 
  • resilience- bravery, courage, self-regulation, hope, enthusiasm 
  • creativity and growth mindset

Q: What's your plan to help your child develop these qualities?

I'm talking about a proper plan here, not just some vague ideas. One with specific objectives and actions. One that you can follow, review, adjust etc.

the second question

Picture this: future you, watching your kids close the front door of your home behind them for the last time. As they head off to live their lives, what questions are running through your mind?

  • Did I do a good job? Was I the best parent I could be?
  • Do they like me? Do we have a great relationship?
  • Did I do enough to prepare them to thrive in the world?

Q: Have you asked yourself these questions? If so, how do you plan on achieving your objectives?

the third question

There is a poem that inspires my work in this area. "This Be The Verse", by Philip Larkin. Please give it a listen- it's 45 seconds long.

WARNING: Strong language.

The first verse gets me every time:

They f*ck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

Just as our parents did with us, we do things because we think they are the right thing to do, and we do them from a place of love. But, we never really stop to think about the consequences. Because when you try and control or manipulate your kid's behaviour using your authority and power, you pay a heavy price:

  • a deterioration in the relationship you have with them (loss of trust, resentment, guilt)
  • the psychological impact of your words and actions

All of the limiting beliefs you have about who you are and what you are capable of (I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy, I'm a failure etc.) were formed when you were a child.

These beliefs have held you back from living the life you want as your true authentic self. Holding these beliefs means that even your achievements feel hollow and meaningless to you. They have limited the kind of future available to you, and without realising, you are doing the same thing to your kids as your parents did to you.

Q: How do you intend to mitigate this? What's your plan to help build psychological robustness and emotional resilience in your kids?

difficult questions

I appreciate that these are challenging questions that require some hard thinking. One thing is certain, nothing will change with your parenting by clinging to the old ideas you have. 

As you can see from this client statement below, the changes you want to make are held within a space of love and no judgement.

"I think out of everything that we have done, that was the hardest for me, but yielded the most insight into how I’m holding myself back. It was just amazing how you held that all together and held the space and pulled apart all of the pieces - all at the same time to allow me to see what was really going on and without judgement, which I feel was key to the whole process! Thank you so much."

One of my objectives for this program is to help you find your own answers to these questions. Doing so is the first step on the journey that will transform you from being a good parent into a great one. The second and most important step is to work on your inner world.

your inner world

Your outer world; what you do and say is only 80% of the job of parenting. That's why it's not really working out as you hoped. It's why you aren't getting the results you want. And, it's why deep down, you know that you are capable of more.

So, what's missing?

What's missing is the 20% that makes ALL the difference. The secret sauce: YOU. Your INNER world. Here's that picture again.

I'm talking about how you SEE the world and who you are BEING in it. Together, these are responsible for the actions that produce your results.

And when you start to show up in the world as your courageous, accepting, loving, trusting and authentic self, your whole world changes. As Wayne Dyer said:

  • In life, people don't get what they want. They get who they are.

Working on yourself is the key to being a great parent:

  • Someone who parents from their highest values, not according to the winds of circumstances.
  • Someone truly present, understanding, loving and engaged.

It's also what helps you to raise a great kid:

  • One who is honest, responsible, generous, kind, independent, and resilient.
  • Someone with the confidence and self-belief needed to thrive in this world.

It's how you create a great relationship with them too:

  • One that's open, trusting, supportive, and loving.
  • The most influential relationship they will ever have in their lives.

That's why in this program I flip the equation on its head.

We'll spend 80% of our time together focusing on the 20% that makes all the difference: inner world work. You will cultivate the internal qualities and the mindset required to stand in your own truth and show up for your child as the highest version of who you know you can BE.

The remaining 20% of our work will focus on helping you to refine and shape that into how to be the parent you want to be and the parent your child needs you to be: i.e. what you DO. Your outer world.

is this program for you?

First, I'd like to reassure you by saying that whether you've got a screaming toddler or a moody, unresponsive teen, this program is for you. If you are about to pull your hair out with frustration, or you simply want to be a better parent, this program is for you too.

I teach core principles and understanding, not techniques and tactics. So, rather than try to 'fix' any specific problem you have, you will learn how you create your problems instead. This distinction alone is life-changing.  And that is why this program has helped different parents at different stages, all going through very different parenting experiences. 

what it will do for you

I've created this program as a way for you to discover what being a great parent means to you. I'm not here to teach you my way. My mission is to help you find yours. In practical parenting terms, this means that:

  • You will have absolute clarity on the sort of parent you want to be and the parent your kids need you to be, and how you can show up as that person each day.
  • You will know exactly what to do to prepare your kids to thrive in school and their life beyond.
  • You will worry less about what others think as you begin to listen to and trust yourself more.
  • You will have a newfound sense of certainty and the confidence that comes with knowing that you are doing the right thing for yourself and for your kids.
  • You'll spend less time feeling anxious, worried and stressed and more time being the loving, understanding, supportive, accepting parent/person you know you really are.

what it will it do for your kids

First of all, your kids get a parent who is more present and more engaged, someone who has actually thought about the parent they want to be and planned how they want to show up for their kids. That already sets you and them apart. Here's what else they get:

  • Kids rarely remember what we say to them but, they never forget who we were for them. They get a role model of how to be in the world. A living example of inner work and self-expression.
  • They will learn the qualities of a successful and happy life from YOU. They won't have to struggle to learn them themselves or pick them up from people you wouldn't necessarily want them to learn from.
  • They get someone who: accepts them for who they are, understands them, loves them unconditionally, trusts them, believes in them and supports them. (Workshop 2)
  • Imagine being in a relationship where the other person was all of the above things for you. How would that feel? What would that be like? Well, that's what you will be doing for them.

how it works

Over six workshops I'll teach you the exact process I use day in and day out to parent my kids (13 year-old twins). A process that I have honed and stress-tested over the last 18 months.

You'll get lifetime access to the workshops and they are packed with lessons, tools, exercises, activities and challenges. Complete them at your own pace with 100% support from me via a private Facebook group. There is also an accompanying workbook (downloadable pdf) that contains everything you need to complete your journey.

how I support you

The private Facebook group is the heartbeat of the program: it's where we do the most important work. It's how I help and support you to put everything you learn into practice. I am there every day to answer your questions, offer tips, personalised advice, guidance and motivation: I'm in the trenches with you. I host live Q&A calls every week so you can talk to me 1:1 about any issue you have. These calls are recorded so you won't miss a thing.

Parent by Design isn't about being perfect; I still make mistakes, so will you. The difference is, you will know how to get back on track when this happens. And if you do get stuck, I am here to help. You will also benefit from the experiences and support of other parents in the group as we walk this path.

Also, I'm a bit of a nerd for this kind of stuff. I never stop learning and growing. And as I stretch to become the best at what I do, I will share what I learn with you.

my commitment to you

In the time we spend together, I promise to serve you to the very best of my ability.  

I am not remotely interested in you buying this program and then not fully embedding it into how you live your life. In fact, if you don't manage to do this, I will refund your money.

A conceptual understanding is one thing, putting knowledge to use in the real word is another. This is why I offer 12 months of support. I will do my utmost to help you, guide you and coach you through the changes you want to make, as well as any tricky situations that crop up. We will also have some fun along the way.

your commitment

Parent by Design is not a turn-up-and-watch-a-few-videos kind of program. Creating a new YOU requires a bit of work. It's not difficult work, but it is different. As one client said:

"I cannot tell you how wonderful these teachings have become to me. Initially, I felt overwhelmed at the “presumed” amount of work it takes to change your thinking however, I have found myself getting very excited at the challenge to push myself beyond my original thinking (layered on by past experiences and input)."

Your only commitment is to YOU and the sort of parent you want to BE. I promise you that on the other side of that commitment are the answers you are looking for.

what next?

You've made it to here, which means it's likely that your heart has already decided that this is for you. The best way to back your intuition up is an actual experience of the program. So, why not take Workshop 1 for free?

I like to do the first workshop in person, so you get to see what it's like to work with me, and I can begin by helping you straight away.

You won't be sold anything, I promise you that. If you decide to buy this program, we will be working together. I want to start that relationship by serving you as best as I possibly can, and by earning your trust.

take the 1st workshop for FREE

You will be taken to my online diary, please choose a time that works for you.

the workshops

get in touch

If you would like to talk to me about any aspect of this program (or parenting) then please get in touch. Whether you buy Parent by Design or not, I'll be happy to help.

WhatsApp / Email / Fb messenger

    the workshops

    workshop 1: how you create your parenting reality

    You might think this is an odd place to start a parenting program from, and you'd be right. But understanding how you create your reality is the key to BEING a better everything in life, not just a better parent. One of the revelations that I've had over the last 18 months is that life isn't something that happens to you- it comes from you; you create it.

    Once you can see that it's your conditioned thinking patterns that are creating your world, you can start to be free of them in order to create a different life for yourself. As Anthony de Mello said:

    • Don't ask the world to change. You change first, and when you change, it will change. 

    You will learn two powerful tools that help you see through to the TRUTH of any life situation or challenge. As a result, any problems you think you have will cease to be a problem, or you will see ways to move forward that just weren't available to you before.

    workshop 2: how to be the parent your child needs you to be

    If you were to write down a list of parenting life, it might look something like this: wash, cook, clean, give them money, nag them to tidy their room/do chores/spend less time on screens, be a taxi service for social activities and extracurricular activities, encourage/bribe them to do well at school, consequences/sanctions when they don't behave how we want etc.

    But if you think about it, this isn't really parenting, it's project management.

    If we were to ask our kids to tell us what they actually need from us it would be a very different list:

    • ACCEPT me for who I am, don't try and change me, or wish that I were different.
    • Take the time to UNDERSTAND me, my world, my interests, what I think, listen to me as a human, not just as a parent.
    • LOVE me unconditionally. Sure, I might not behave as you want sometimes, but that shouldn't diminish your love for me. It's your job to see beyond my behaviour.
    • TRUST me. Allow me to make my own mistakes. Trust that I have my own path, that I'll get it right in my own way and in my own time.
    • BELIEVE in me, especially when I don't believe in myself.
    • SUPPORT me, be my biggest fan, be in my corner, have my back.

    I call these the Six Pillars of Parenting, and in Workshop 2, we'll explore what they mean for you. You'll learn how to use these pillars as a lens through which you see your child and the world. I will also show you how to embody them each day and in every situation. 

    This is one of the key elements to you BEING the parent that your child needs you to BE.

    These 6 Pillars are the catalyst for a truly connected, deep and loving relationship between you. And just as importantly, they provide the firm foundation needed to help your child develop into a psychologically robust and emotionally resilient human being.

    workshop 3: how to create the child you want

    We play an enormous role in the sort of person our kids become. In fact, we help create our children with each interaction we have with them. Literally hundreds of thousands of touchpoints over the years.

    The problem is, when you look at your child, you don't actually see them. When you listen to your child, you don't actually hear them. Instead, what you see and hear is the sum total of your opinions about them. Your past interactions, your beliefs about who they are and what they are capable of, act as a filter. 

    You don't see and hear your child as they are. You see and hear them as who you have already decided them to be. Great parenting is about seeing past the limitations you have imposed to the true potential that lies beneath.

    Given that you have this power and responsibility, what sort of child do you want to help create? What qualities and values would you like them to have? Who would you like them to be?

    I'll show you how to use the science of character strengths to help your child trust in their capacity to express themselves as the 24 strengths listed below. This is one of the 3 key components of raising a confident child, alongside the emotional resilience and psychological strength you will help them to develop in Workshop 2.

    workshop 4: what sort of parent do you really want to be?

    One of the surprising revelations you'll get from this particular workshop is just how much of your parenting choices are influenced by other factors. Here are just some of them:

    • How your parenting reflects on you.
    • Wanting to be 'right'.
    • What your parents, family, friends, or fellow parents might think.
    • How your past experiences have impacted you.
    • The way you think the world works.
    • How you were raised.
    • Whether you are predisposed to act from trust or fear.
    • Who you think your child is and what you think they are capable of.

    Being a Parent by Design means parenting from your heart. In this workshop, you will discover what's important to YOU: your parenting VALUES. Connecting with the deepest parts of you gives you the freedom to BE and ACT in a way that is a reflection of who you truly are. This will enable you to access your inner wisdom to help guide you through any parenting challenge.

    Your VALUES will serve as your compass for all future interactions; a reminder to you of everything you stand for. Getting clarity on these will allow you to focus your attention and effort on what's important. You'll know which battles to fight and which to let go of. You'll get blown off course less, and you'll have a blueprint to help you get back on track when you do.

    workshop 5: getting out of your own way

    There's only one thing holding you back from being the parent you want to be: YOU. More accurately, it's your story: the ideas you have about who you are, what you are capable of and the way you think the world works. Your story obscures the real you and limits how you show up in the world. It limits your self-expression and it limits the results you get.

    In workshop 5 we spend some time uncovering your limiting beliefs, so you can see how and where you are holding yourself back. This is important. Until you can fully own how you have created your current way of BEING, you can't access your full power to create a new one.

    There is an additional benefit here too, our kids don't learn from what we say, they learn from who we are. When you drop your story in service of the person and parent that you want to BE, you help and inspire your child to write a better story for themselves too.

    workshop 6: putting it all together- parenting by design

    There's no point learning all this stuff if you don't put it into practice. In fact, if you don't put it into practice, we will have failed. As Carl Jung said:

    • You are what you do, not what you say you'll do.

    And, although you will have been practising and implementing as you go, this workshop is where you will begin to incorporate everything you have learned into a daily practice. This is about living as a commitment to this new you, this new way of BEING in the world and SEEING the world that you have created.

    parent by design

    are you ready to begin your adventure?

    If you want to and are willing to make these powerful changes in your life, then I will be very happy to work with you. How would you like to work with me? 

    The program starts on the 3rd of January 2022.

    Individual Coaching


    6 x Workshops (1:1)

    6 x Post Workshop Coaching Sessions (1:1)

    2 x Program Follow Up Coaching Sessions (1:1)

    Lifetime Facebook Group Support

    Live weekly FB group Q&A

    Personal Workbook

    3 Months WhatsApp / Email Support

    Recording & transcripts of all Workshops & Coaching calls 


    £1999 individual / £2599 couple

    Let's talk & see if this is a good fit for us both.

    Group Program


    6 x Workshops (Lifetime Access)

    -

    1 x Program Follow Up Coaching Session (1:1)

    12 Months Facebook Group Support

    Live weekly FB group Q&A

    Personal Workbook

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    £449 individual / £599 couple

    Contact me to discuss payment options.

    I am 100% confident that Parent by Design will be an immensely valuable and transformative experience for you and your family.
    Still, I want you to be absolutely sure it is the right fit for you. Take 90 DAYS to check out the program. If for any reason you decide it is not for you, just let me know, and I will refund you immediately- no questions asked.

    Dominic.

    money back

    100%

    90 day guarantee

    get in touch

    If you would like to talk to me about any aspect of this program (or parenting) then please get in touch. Whether you buy Parent by Design or not, I'll be happy to help.

    WhatsApp / Email / Fb messenger

    join my Facebook group

    Not the one attached to the program.

    It's another private group where I share ideas from and related to the program. You'll get a feel for what Parenting by Design is all about.

    -

    q&a

    What is your refund policy?

    How much work is involved?

    How does it all work?

    How do I access the Workshops?

    Group Program vs Individual Coaching

    What support is there in the group?

    How long will the program take?

    What happens after 12 months?

    Who are you?

    Why did you create this?

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