parent by design:‚Äč

day 17: anger

"You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger."

-Buddha

anger

Anger is a tricky customer.

It can get in the way of you becoming a great parent, especially when we don't know where the anger comes from.

This is why we include this module, to help you discover where it comes from.

there are only 2 things in this world

LOVE and FEAR.

If you look beyond your anger, you'll notice that there's FEAR lurking there somewhere.

You need to do this because in order to change something, you must first understand it.

Understand the fear that drives your anger and you can change.

Often the moment that you see it, the anger disappears.

Or, once you recognise the origin, you can then see what you need to do:

Do you need to change something about your approach, beliefs, thoughts, skills?

Is there a lack of understanding of your child, or do they not understand something about themselves?

Is there a resource issue.

Most probably the FEAR will be yours, and you will need to do something.

  • we want to give our child love, to help them feel loved, we also want to 
  • our anger gets in the way of this, our anger can get in the way of our relationship with our child
  • understand the fear and accept it
  • eg L= become like me the worst bits of me the bits i hate
  • now i know this i can deal with it better( what do I need to change, is it a lack of understanding, is it a resource issue)
  • I can deal with it across all 3 fronts
  • often the minute you see it, it disappears

what do you get most angry about?

Some questions for you:

  • The last time you were angry, why were you angry? 
  • What fear was driving it?

Ok, we have created a little tool that will help you to challenge your fear, think about it in a new way, and come up with some ways that you can move forward.