How well Do i score in the 5 things

my child really needs from me?

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.

― Søren Kierkegaard

Before you take the quiz, we are going to help you solve one of life's great mysteries... 

why does my teenager behave the way that they do?

We are going to start with the premise that:
Each action that your child takes makes sense to them given how they see the world at the time. 
That's right, even when they are kindly informing anyone in earshot that you are 'the worst parent in the world', in that moment their behaviour makes sense to them on some level. 
That's because behaviour is really just the outside manifestation of what is happening on the inside.
And once we understand what that is, we can deal with their behaviour much more effectively: we can treat the cause not the symptom.

so, what is happening on the inside?

Let's put ourselves in their shoes for a sec...
Adolescence is an unsettling time.
First of all, your child is going through huge physiological and neurological changes over which they have no control.
They are also engaging in totally new and often very challenging experiences.
On top of this they have a whole heap of expectations and situations to deal with at home, at school and with their friends.
And, that's just when things are going well. 

now imagine having to deal with:

  • social embarrassment
  • friends being mean
  • worrying about grades and their future
  • trying to fit in and look cool
Our kids essentially live inside a giant life sized PRESSURE COOKER.


Your child is behaving in a way that is totally consistent with the way the world looks to them: uncertain.
Uncertainty is the breeding ground of insecurity and fear.
And if you don’t have the maturity, life experience and the tools to deal with all this uncertainty, in their shoes…
  • what would your thinking be like?
  • how would you feel?
  • what sort of behaviour would you manifest?

so for absolute clarity...

Your child is acting out because they feel insecure or fearful.
And, you can attribute almost ANY negative behaviour they express as coming from that feeling of insecurity and fear.

so, what do they need from you?

We have identified 5 areas that as parents we need to focus on so that our kids feel more SECURE. Our kids need:
  1. 1
    to feel loved
  2. 2
    to feel that they are good enough
  3. 3
    to feel trusted
  4. 4
    to feel supported
  5. 5
    to be allowed to be themselves
The quiz below will help you to assess how well you are doing in these 5 areas.

what next?

Well done.
Now you now all about the 6 POWER STRENGTHS, it's time we showed you what you are going to do with yours.
Or you can head back to the PART 1: Self-discovery main menu here.