resilience and motivation

You said that your biggest challenge to helping your child to develop resilience is that they lack motivation.
The good news is, with some effort and focus on some key areas, you can help your child to discover their motivation and their resilience.
Here's how...

motivation

How on earth do you motivate a child? If only we had a magic wand!

The reason why we all seem to find this difficult is because we think about motivation in a very binary way: 'carrot and stick', 'reward and punishment'. "Do this and I'll give you some money." "Do that and you've got a screen ban."

Sure, that works for simple stuff like tidying a bedroom (sometimes), but for bigger more important stuff like RESILIENCE, it doesn't work very well, if at all.

so what do we do instead?

The word motivation comes from the latin 'movere', meaning'to move',

Therein lies the clue as to why your child lacks motivation, they aren't moving towards anything.

In other words, they lack a purpose... they need a reason WHY.

To help them find that, you need to know where to look.

 Your purpose lives in the intersection between your interests and passions,  your skills and abilities, and from knowing who you are and what you are capable of- your strengths.

Real motivation comes from within, not from outside.

This then is the key to helping your child to develop their motivation and their resilience.

1. passions

help your child to explore their interests so that they can find and develop their passion 

2. strengths

help your child to understand themselves: who they are and what they are capable of

3. abilities

help your child to developed the skills and resources they need to be  successful at what they do

motivation and resilience

Resilience itself is not an objective, it's not something that you can 'motivate' your child toward.

Instead resilience is a by-product of having a true purpose. 

You only need to look at someone like Greta Thunberg to understand this power of having a true purpose.

That's not to say that RESILIENCE can't be taught, it can- as you will see in a moment.

It's just that without a purpose there is no MOTIVATION to BE RESILIENT.

step 1: help your child to find their passion

A number of rules here:

You have to kiss a few frogs to find a prince, you might have to help your kid try lots of different interests.

It should be their choice- not yours, you have a better chance of getting them to stick at it.

It should be fun for as long as possible- don't get too heavy too quickly.

 They need lots of encouragement and support.

You need to help them not quit.

We wrote more about how to do this here, in our summary of Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth

step 2: help your child to understand themselves

How do you help your child understand themselves, to know who they really are and what they are capable of?

CHARACTER STRENGTHS.

Character Strengths are the positive parts of personality that influence how you think, feel and behave. 

Scientists have identified 24 universal character strengths that we all have- see below.

Character strengths reflect the 'real' you—who you are at your core. 

Understanding their unique blend of these strengths is the first step towards your child having the confidence to be their best self. 

It's also a key component of motivation, without knowing their 'real' selves, how will your child get the best out of themselves?

step 3: help your child to develop resources

Whilst having a true purpose will help with motivation and resilience, it's not the only strength that your child needs to be RESILIENT.

We have identified 6 key character strengths that are essential to resilience: ZEST, HOPE, CREATIVITY, SELF-REGULATION, BRAVERY & PERSEVERANCE. 

Life is full of ups and downs, developing these 6 strengths will give your child the skills and the confidence to be able to deal with whatever comes their way. 

Knowing that you have the skills to cope helps massively with motivation.

In order to become the resilient and motivated person you know they can be, your child will need to learn:

  • to approach life with the ZEST and energy needed to tackle the challenges and obstacles they face
  • to have a HOPEFUL attitude: to be positive about themselves, their life, their effort and their outcomes
  • to develop SELF-REGULATION; the focus, and the discipline needed to achieve their goals and to be successful
  • how to think CREATIVELY so they can solve the problems and the challenges they will face
  • to develop their BRAVERY so they can overcome rejection and learn to embrace failure rather than fear it
  • to PERSEVERE, so that they can keep going when all looks lost, to bounce back and to not give up: to be resilient

Imagine how motivated your child would be if they developed these strengths?

how do you do all this?

We have developed character strengths based tool that helps kids understand who they are and teaches them the skills they need to develop the 6 key strengths of resilience: THE BEST ME THAT I CAN BE.

Part-manual, part-workbook and part-journal, it is designed to take your child on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth.

It's a blueprint for their success in school and for their life beyond the classroom.

And, its the life manual that we wish that we'd had when we were growing up.

the best Me contains

  • 98 pages that will inspire your child to explore who they really are and discover what they are truly capable of
  • a powerful program of lessons based on the scientific fields of positive psychology and character strengths
  • real world activities and challenges that will help your child to build genuine self-belief and the confidence to be their best selves
  • your child will learn how to be CREATIVE, BRAVE & RESILIENT and develop a POSITIVE MINDSET, SELF-MOTIVATION and DISCIPLINE
  • you will gain a deeper insight into their life, their dreams and their goals so you can help to guide them along their life journey
  • your child will develop the resources to overcome any of the challenges, obstacles, setbacks and failures that life will throw their way
  • a fun, simple to use, interactive and thought provoking investment in your child and their future

A digital pdf download for you to print at home, also includes a separate FREE strength building activity workbook.

full 30 day money back guarantee

preview: take a closer look at what's inside

Here's a preview of some of the 98 pages...

2 options for you

  1. 1
    WORKBOOKS ONLY: THE BEST ME workbook + the FREE strengths building workbook
  2. 2
    FULL SUPPORT: both workbooks + lifetime membership to a private Facebook community. 

FULL SUPPORT means we'll be there to guide and support you and your child along this journey- whenever you need it.

You can ask us direct questions, we post daily hints and tips and you'll get a free strength/ life skill building activity each month to help your child develop even further. 

(The normal cost for this is £60, but for today only you get to enjoy this benefit for as long as you want for just £7).

both options enjoy a full 30 day money back guarantee

the best you that you can be

THE BEST ME is a brilliant self-help guide and based on personal experience we totally recommend doing it alongside your kids- (just buy one and print out 2 copies at home).

  • It will help you to become the best version of you too- rediscover your passion and become the person you always knew you could be.
  • By doing it together you will both gain a deeper understanding of their true nature, their unique strengths, abilities, and what they are capable of. They will also get to know you a bit better too.
  • You will enjoy a much DEEPER CONNECTION and BETTER RELATIONSHIP with your child built on understanding and trust.
  • You will be a much more POSITIVE PARENT, instead of parenting by correcting your kids' mistakes- you will look for what your kids are doing right instead of wrong, be more supportive and inspiring.

what others say about our work

The main focus is to help you discover your own values and put your own plan into action, as opposed to telling you what to do.

LAURA CLARK​// The Butterfly Mother

It is presented in a very straightforward and easy to read manner and I can already see that there is value in the takeaway.

ALICIA ANTONIO// The Bottle Poppin Mamma

teach your kids recommendation
I would highly recommend to any parent needing to get in the here and now of parenting… but also who wants to look to the future too.

TALYA STONE​// Motherhood: The Real Deal

faqs

WHO IS THIS  FOR?

It's for your tween and/or teen. Whether they are struggling or not, it will help them to understand themselves and develop the attitude, techniques and skills they need for a successful life. 


HOW MUCH TIME IS INVOLVED?

There is no set duration. Your child should complete THE BEST ME in the time frame that's appropriate to them. The workbook is a journey of discovery and it encourages your child to practice their new skills in the real world through weekly challenges, so your child will be working on themselves all the time.

However, in terms of actual time commitment, from start to finish we would estimate around 8 weeks with an hour or so a week that should be allocated to actual 'work'.


WHO ARE YOU?

We are parents too (11-year-old twins). We realised that success in life is more than just qualifications and a good CV, and yet this is all that parents and schools seem to focus on.

So we started out by trying to teach our twins life skills in a deliberate and structured way. Our initial research told us that other parents were worried that their kids weren’t getting this type of education either, so we created Lifehacksforkids to fulfil that need. You can read more about us here.


WHAT IF IT'S NOT RIGHT FOR MY CHILD?

No problem! 

Send us an email: dominic@lifehacksforkids.co.uk and we will refund you right away, no questions asked.